Friday, December 02, 2005

Winter Weather

I have come forth to anoint the unwashed and the unanimity, of course. This is about living in North Idaho.

Should you have moved to our fair area in the last 13 or 14 years, you will have experienced maybe one snowy winter, and maybe one ice storm.

BUT, you will have not experienced our equalizer. Equalizer, you ask? Well let me tell you about our equalizers.

They happen about fifteen to twenty years apart. They are all different. They all spell cold, snow, and ice.

Why are they called equalizers? Because that's where we shed unneeded, unwanted and unwelcome relocaters from Southern California.

It would appear that true to form, we get a whole bunch of folks from more temperate climates, that home in on our somewhat dreary landscape. They seem to think that this is paradise. Wrongo, Baby! We are a back woods, gap-teeth, undereducated bunch of Red-Necks that you NEVER want as your neighbor.

This year we are going to meet you out there on the (Highways). (We always put that word in parentheses so real highway folks don't get confused).

Please, even if you are personally willing to die, don't invite us to join you, like speeding with 4-wheel drive. You ever seen 4-wheel drive stop anyone faster?

I write this, actually, snowed in here in Bayview, in the secure knowledge that until some nice young person digs my car out, I'm not your target.

3 comments:

Word Tosser said...

And Hummbee's slide on their tops just as well as Volvo's do...

jb3ll3 said...

You tell 'em Herb!

Dogwalkmusings said...

Ah, wword pictures. Ain't they wunnerful!