Tongue Firmly Planted ...

Ada County, Idaho announced today that hereafter,(no pun intended)The city of Twin Falls will have to pay an additional $150, totaling $1350 for autopsies performed by the County. In addition, the county was heard to say that in the future, due to rising costs due to rampant inflation, it will be a gross misdemeanor, for more than 15 murders committed locally. Currently, the average is 20 to 25 per year.

This new policy comes with a free gas card for anyone that wishes to transport their victims outside the city, so that it becomes a county issue. Criminals were heard to mumble, "more government interference in our affairs. When will it end." Several potential officials, 'er, future victims, wondered out loud whether their estates would have to pick up the cost, or would the county fine the perpetrator.

In other news, the Laramie Daily News, reported that in anticipation of party animal type student arrivals, signs were posted on the commons that read,"45 minute unloading only." This, an apparent reference to the fear that the first act of these kids would be to stop there and proceed to get loaded.

Gas prices are affecting everyone and everything. The Whitman County Gazette reports that a Coyote hitched a ride for five miles, when he apparently ran out of gas. After the animal was extricated from the grill of a car, it limped off still appearing out of energy.