Sunday, February 28, 2010

From The Spokesman-Review

Today's hot news is from Twin Falls, Idaho. In a burst of enthusiasm for strict law enforcement, a swat team from the local police department descended upon the local residential senior center. No, this wasn't for the usual reasons. No complaints about shoddy care, or senior abuse. This was much more serious.

It turns out that hidden in the dark recesses of this den of iniquity, was a poker parlor. Octogenarians faced with boredom were heard to say things like, "deal 'em and weep. I'm cleaning you out this hand." Another yells,"Ya and your mother wore hip boots."

This all came to a crashing end when the defenders of freedom burst into the game room yelling," Alright, everyone against the wall, now! Hands in sight, don't touch that filth in the middle of the table.What? Yes you can take your wheelchair with you." "No med breaks. This is serious business." "You are charged with aiding and abetting (Yuk) a gambling operation in which money changes hands." Senior citizen: "You mean you're here to collect taxes?" "Nope, we're taking you down.You will all do hard time for this!" senior: "Hard time? Does that mean we have to babysit our grandchildren again?" "Nope, it's the rock pile for you,Grandpa!" "But that isn't gambling, we just didn't have any poker chips and since we all have a little cash stashed in our rooms, we were using it as poker chips. You know, ones, fives and tens?

All of this was taking place while lawmakers down the road a piece were debating a change in the law that does not require enforcement of minor league gambling operations. If that doesn't move the law change along nothing will.We were unable to get a legal opinion, since all the lawyers in Twin Falls were falling all over themselves offering pro bono help for the aged mob members.

In other news, it appears that a bloodless coup has taken place in the comics. Mort Walker's Beetle Bailey was captured and replaced by Pearls Before Swine creator, Stephan Pastis, with Pearls appearing in both strips. War may break out at any moment, though it appears that Pastis has more mean characters that the army. More as these stories develop.


jana said...

So, do you think they would find us if we can all went out to Dan Mulviill's boat for the next poker game??

Bay Views said...

If this is Jana from Brand X please e-mail me your e-address. I've lost it.