Wednesday, January 14, 2015


I have read the tea leaves and have come up with some amazing conclusions. When you match the birthrate in Arab nations, divided by male/female standards  and further project the number of Jihadis, it becomes clear that there are not enough virgins to go around.

There it is guys. You who demand that women cover themselves from head to toe, do not inhabit singles bars and further, have no idea what your prospective bride looks like, feels like, well you get the picture, it is no wonder that most, having discovered the truth scatter to what ever substitution that is available.JIHAD!

What could be better? First, you leave home hoping your wife or as it were, wives, will somehow go away. Then, miraculously an Imam appears. He promises that if you give up your life for Islam, you will ascend to heaven where you will have a second chance. 72 virgins will greet you as you are fed grapes (seedless) while sprawling out on your Roman like couch. He looks back at the wives he left at home and immediately declares, "Alahu Akbar,"Bring em on.

Alas, I have the sad duty of informing you of two facts.  First, if you couldn't satisfy the wives you left at home, Mohammed will not reward you with any virgins. You see, they are running short of virgins, since for every Islamist that dies for Islam, there are only two or three clapped out Cougars looking for a good time.So, be very careful about choosing this path. You could graze goats, and if your bride offends you, there are always sheep.

Climbing the hills of scarce forage is much safer that charging into a crowded shopping center, yelling Alahu Akbar, following the instructions, pushing the button on his vest. Boom. Sorry pal, there is nothing awaiting you. Not 72 virgins, not your deceased relatives, and not Allah. Just the cold dark place where God decides where to send you. Good luck on that.

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