Sunday, March 29, 2015


Septuagenarian ism suddenly hit me last week when I described how I arrived at a birthday, age 77. Portions of that post were described by Dave Oliveria in his Sunday column, parting shots. He said..."On turning 77 last week without a wife, curmudgeonly Herb Huseland of Bayview philosophized:"Having struck out several times, I finally decided that either I wasn't good at being a husband, or I wasn't good at picking the right woman"... 

After  reading this in the Spokesman-Review, I sat back in my recliner and mused: I may be the most eligible septuagenarian male bachelor in North Idaho. Look at all the marital experience I have and unlike most people who plod through life with only one wife, I have experienced a variety of personalities, sizes and appearances.

I visualized senior citizen speed dating. Inviting one and all old ladies to try out for the catch Herb team. Catching me is easier these days, since I'm not very fast anymore... At least fast of foot.

A couple of weeks ago, I was having a conversation with a friend, when the female bartender, all of 20 something walked by exclaiming "You think you know everything," and stomped into the kitchen. I was shocked and resentful that a twerp less than a third of my age would suggest a thing like that. I can only remember one other parallel occasion, and he too was ignorant. I don't believe I've ever heard an intelligent person making that remark.

Reflecting further in the days past I finally figured out the formula. As I grew in age and experience, I gained more knowledge on a plethora of subjects.  Now if I could just remember most of it.

Incidentally, for those ladies wishing an interview, I must point out that I have no money and I'm chubby. If you have got past that, have at it. In closing I am reminded of an old George Jones hit, "I don't need your rocking chair, no Hadacol or medicare... (if you remember what Hadacol was, put yourself in my age group) Try this for my future lifestyle (

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