Anna Nicole Smith

I have recently felt left out. Kind of cowering in the backwash of history. Based on recent lies, distortions and outright falsehoods, a Father has been chosen of this child. As a voice in the wilderness, crying out for recognition, I have repeatedly thrown my (ahem) hat into the ring, so to speak.

Since I cannot any longer fight the battle and win the big bucks, er, future of my beloved child, I have decided to opt for the next best thing.

I HEREBY ANNOUNCE THAT I AM THE GRANDFATHER OF THIS CHILD, AND WORTHY OF ALL MONIES THAT MIGHT ACCRUE THEREFROM.

There! hopefully, I will win if justice has a voice at all.

This should end for all time, the discussion of this Tramp that has sullied my reputation by not admitting that she visited Bayview secretly, tore off her clothes shouting gaily,"Herb, I must have you!"